Vladimir Putin, not to be outdone by the head rooster at the White House, is placing sanctions against the United States in retaliation for the sanctions we are placing against Russia over the Ukraine situation. One of the items on his list is to prohibit the import of chickens from the U.S. It seems we sell tons of chickens to Russia and Putin is ready to cut the shipments off.
Now then, the ramifications could be catastrophic. If we are selling fewer chickens to Russia, the price of chickens in the U.S. will drop faster than a bagful of feathers. Americans will start eating more chicken and less beef, which means the price of beef will also drop. The commodities markets will go berserk, and our economic mess will be further poached. Obama thinks his sanctions against Russia will hurt Putin's economy, but it is the United States that is going to have the fowl economy.
Well, there might be an out. There are over 40,000 Christians and Jews stuck on a mountain in Iraq and being starved to death by ISIS, which has vowed to kill them if they try to come down off the mountain. We could do a flyover and drop chickens on the mountain. Then again, with 40,000 people on the mountain, the question is: where will they put the chickens? I'll be damned if I'd like to be buried in tons of dead chickens, even if I was starving.
Maybe they could drop the dead chickens on the terrorists, since we don't want to really get involved. Can you imagine getting hit on the head by a frozen chicken dropped from 20,000 feet? Those ISIS guys will never know what hit 'em.
This whole mess is like a kettle of rotten eggs. But, I'm sure the head rooster and the dumb clucks in the White House chicken coop will figure it all out.
They're all so coool, man. Cool.
That's MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted.
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