The knife attacks on 14 people on a Lone Star College campus near Houston yesterday underscores what I've been insisting on for years: We need knife control! Knives kill people! No, no, no... don't even go there, you bogus, left-winged scalawags; don't try and tell me it's a people problem. It's a knife problem and we have to control it now. People have been killed with knives for much too long in our history; in fact, with the exception of wars, more people have been killed with knives than guns.
For starters:
1. No one under the age of 18 will be allowed to possess a knife
2. Background checks are required on all knife purchases
3. No knife that has been sharpened, or has a sharpened point or serated edges with a blade longer than two inches can be sold to anyone unless the knife is on the list of approved knives
4. Knives longer than two inches that have been sharpened, or that have a sharpened point or serated edges, shall be known as "Assault Knives" and banned in the United States
5. Knives can no longer be sold as part of a "Flatware Set;" they must be sold separately and subject to this law
6. Purchasers of knives must have taken and passed a "Knife Safety Course" within the previous two years in order to purchase a knife
7. No knife handle can have a thumb-hole in it
8. Knife blades sold as replacement parts must be able to bend in half if pressed against any solid object
9. Knives with both sides of the blade sharpened or that have more than one blade are prohibited
10. No knife can be purchased on the Internet
11. No knife can be transported across state lines
12. No knife can be transferred from one person to another without the transaction being registered
13. Any owner of any knife must carry liability insurance in the minimum amount of $1 million
God forbid anyone with sense should be called upon to voice an opinion in this matter.
That's MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted.
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