There’s hardly a nanosecond that goes by on the Internet that you don’t get bombarded with a suggestion by some organization that some facet of the United States Government is going to do something drastic against you unless you force Congress to act now to prevent it. Moreover, they want your money so they can be the ones to force Congress to act. Yay! God bless them for coming to our rescue!
Millions of illegal aliens will cross the border tonight unless YOU send YOUR contribution of $25, $50 or $100 now, this very minute, to stop it. And yes, we’ll take your credit card. Just get that money in here pal and we’ll do the rest. Whoopie!
Did you know that the Justice Department is NOT deporting illegals that they capture? That’s right! Over 34,000 illegal aliens who should have been deported last year were not, because Janet Napolitano ordered the Border Patrol to cut down on arrests and detainments. Only you can stop this horrible practice by sending in your contribution today to enable them to get on their white stallions and go galloping on over to Capitol Hill to shake those rotten Congressmen out of their boots and force them to stop this nonsense.
Congress is about to stop all Social Security and Medicare benefits. Those evil scoundrels are conjuring up a way to divert what is left in the Social Security fund to cover the cost of abortions for millions of welfare moms across the country. Only you can stop this from happening and leaving you and your loved ones to rot on the front porch when retirement day comes. We need your money. Get your friends, your relatives and your neighbors together right now and form your own local committee to save Social Security and Medicare and let us know when you’ve raised the money; we’ll send an armored truck by to pick it up! Isn’t that great?!!!
They’re going to take your guns and ammo from you and there is nothing you can do about it unless you join us now in forcing Congress to put a stop to it. That’s right; Barry Obama and Hillary Clinton are conspiring to abide by a United Nations ruling to take away our Second Amendment rights. We’re all going to be toast unless you send in your money today so we can go force Congress to act.
Good grief, man, when is the last time this country forced Congress to do anything? Even an act of God can’t move those pinheads off the dime. We voted half of them out in 2010 to force them to come to grips with our spending, and where has that gotten us? Anyone who thinks that, by sending money to some obscure organization in Washington, we are going to make Congress do a damned thing needs to give me a call right now, this very minute; don’t delay because, I’ve got some land in Florida I want to sell you.
Save your money. You’ve got more clout with your Congressmen by using the fax and email than those guys who want to take your money so they can send a fax and an email. By and large, the “organization” managers are all driving fancy cars and living in big houses while you hide under the bed in fear.
Did you know that a secret department in the FCC is going to seize all of the channel clickers in the country so you will have to get off your fat ass and do some exercise? Only you can stop this terrible thing from happening. Send your money today to the “AMERICAN ASSOCIATION TO SAVE CHANNEL CLICKERS.” Don’t delay; every second counts.
That’s MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted.
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