FAT POLICE WANT RONALD MC DONALD FIRED

SPECIAL POST

Here they come, the “Fat Police.”  

Activists in California are complaining that Ronald McDonald is a bad marketing ploy and that he encourages young kids and mentally retarded adults like you to eat bad food.  As a matter of fact, the Fat Police are demanding that you… yes, you… take off weight right now, or that you be forced to pay higher air fares, higher insurance premiums and even… more for what you eat.  

What gets me is that, when you look at them, they are all just as chubby as we are. 

So, what’s the skinny, pardon the exquisite play on words?  

It’s all about them wanting to have some authoritarian power over how we live our lives.  They’re the same clan that tells us we need to buy a hybrid car and go biking more often, then drive away from the scene of the speech in their SUV’s, right Al Gore?  They’re the ones who tell us to turn the thermometer down to 60 in the winter and up to 80 in the summer to conserve energy, and then retreat to their 10,000 square-foot houses to contemplate how astute they are.  They’re the ones who stare at us in wide-open-mouthed disbelief because we use gas-powered lawn mowers, and then escape back home in their private jets. 

Yeah, they are the ones who call us racists and who wouldn’t hire a”nigger” if their lives depended on it.  You know this type, the ones who bitch about the Indians having the right to own casinos to try and lift their tribes out of poverty and who don’t mind having a few illegal Mexicans around to trim their petunias, (not another exquisite play on words).  

I don’t know what to tell you, my friend, except that the time has arrived when you can’t have a double-bacon cheeseburger any more.  French fries, apple pie and ice cream are out.  Don’t even think about a steak for dinner, you carnivorous cad.  They’re even planning to close down the breweries so you won’t have an ugly, portentous beer gut.  

But remember, it’s for your own good and the sake of a better society.   

That’s MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted. 

(P.S.  Yes, I own guns, they are loaded, and I’m sucking on a beer and waiting for the Fat Police to come pounding on my door.)