The major unanswered question hanging around in the dust of the economic stimulus bill is whether or not Fancy Nancy got her condoms. I’ve heard no recent mention of her $150 million for that Trojan project, pardon the not-so-subtle play on words.
Dirty Harry, no longer referred to as “Mr. Clean,” got his high-speed rail project from Lala Land to Vegas included, but the half-wit still has absolutely no clue; we're not going to have even a shekel among all of us left to gamble with after we pay for these “stimulating” economic bills. The Messiah is telling everyone to stay away from Vegas, anyway. Harry should’ve at least included $150 million for Viagra…it would’ve made for a nice package when coupled with Nancy’s condoms.
Is it true that Good old Barney shortened his name from Frankfarter? Anyway, now that he’s getting another $200 + billion to throw into the Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae bad loan projects, he’s got to be having an erection that doesn’t require any Viagra! Don't you wonder why only a few "select" Americans will be able to qualify for these new loans? Maybe being gay will help. Sorry, Barney...It was a slip of the tongue.
One way to keep us from carping about their total xxxxxxxx to is xxxx us up with the “xxxxxxxx” Doctrine. That’s censorship, pure and simple and, when tied in to obvious control of what news we’re being allowed to get, it is tantamount to xxxxxxxx. Undoubtedly, I xxxxxxxx should have not have said that.
I was going to start off with a tirade about gun control. I’m far along enough in these Short Shots that I’ve run out of bullets and I’ll pull the trigger on that idea…. But, I do need to point out that gun sales are shooting sky high. And, it's not the crooks and thugs who are buying them. Those guys are smart enough to steal theirs, so they don't have to go through a background check.
I hear they’re working on a federal law to ban the use of cell phones while smoking. Evidently, people are getting confused and burning their ears off by mistake. Further, the word is that the microwaves are being infected with second-hand smoke.
Fear not, my friends. One more scotch is all I need to really get going…
No, we’re not going to have “National Health Care.” Yes, they will have a national database with all of your healthy history info, they will be able to monitor what medical treatments you get, they will decide who to pay for what services, and you’ll be given their list of providers. But, you’ll still be able to decide where to park, so that’s not really nationalized health care.
You probably have already heard this, but there’s another “stimulus” plan already in the works. It’ll starting trickling out next week after the Messiah meets with Congressional leaders on Monday. You might ask where all of the money is going to come from, besides the printing presses. I heard through the grapevine that they’re bringing back the Tea Tax. Personally, I think their plan is to drive us all to drink more and then to raise the tax on booze….
You’ll be relieved to know: there’s no truth to the gossip that, after Nancy embarrassed CitiBank into giving up its new corporate jet, she arranged to buy it with taxpayer funds to fly back and forth between California and D.C. The plane she actually had taxpayers buy is a much larger 200-seater. Don’t forget, Nancy, it’s against the law in California to top off your tanks……
What this world needs now is some good, reliable Storm Troopers to keep us from grabbing our guns, clinging onto our religions, jumping into our SUV’s and driving to Washington to throw all of those fatherless politicians OUT!
That's MY AMERICAN OPINION, xxxxxxxxxxxx submitted.
No comments:
Post a Comment