It’s been much too long since I posted some short shorts. But, news has been so crappy coming out of Washington these days that I have been distracted…It seems as if the White House has taken a page from the Soviet Block and set up an Iron Curtain around 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. It is rapidly becoming an “Us vs. Them” mentality. Those goombahs don’t understand that they work for us and we have a right to know what’s going on in our government. One would certainly expect that, especially after Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize, they’d be trying to mend fences instead of building them…..
Two things they don’t allow in the White House:
- Tea Parties
- Re-runs of “TO TELL THE TRUTH”
Here’s my stock tip. Find out who manufactures the green ink for our currency and invest everything you have in that company, because we’re now out of money and we have to print tons more to cover Cap & Trade, Health Care, and the T.C.P. problem…. (Thought Control Police).
Warren Buffet is said to be working on a way to harness all of the potential energy from the natural gas being emitted from Capitol Hill. I hear he’s been following Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid around…
There’s no truth to the rumor that ACORN is investigating CIA spooks for Eric Holder… But, as for the gossip that the S.E.I.U. is organizing the Secret Service, I can’t say. (I suppose I’ll hear from Jimmy Carter, Billy Clinton and Bill Cosby for using “that” word,).
Speaking of Halloween, I hear they’re throwing a big party on The Hill and Nancy Pelosi is going as a vampire bat. Barney Frankfarter is attending as a blubbering idiot. Harry Reid will be in a “Mr. Clean” costume. Charlie Wrangel and Chris Dodd will be in charge of fund raising and ticket sales…..
Quipping right along, Reid, Dodd, Baucus and "Mr. Congeniality" Rambo Emmanuel have been huddling behind closed doors, trying to put a band-aid on the Health Care Plan….. Who knows what they’re dreaming up? Maybe Jack Kevorkian can give them some advice on how to take care of senior citizens…..
Judging by the news, I don’t think we have to worry about the overseas terrorists anymore…. They’re all here in the U.S.
And, the short little Korean has surely been giving us the “Moon,” hasn’t he? Maybe we should nickname him “Johnny Rocket.” Meanwhile, the Russians are jumping up and down in wild anticipation of being able to process Iranian uranium; I wonder what’s up with that?
Ambulance attendants are now planning to charge extra for hauling overweight people to the hospital. In order to determine who has to pay more by the ton, all emergency vehicles will be equipped with scales. Fatsos can officially also be ridiculed and denigrated, but the national obese epidemic will be cured when Washington outlaws french fries and chocolate and starts jacking up insurance rates under the new government-run health plan.
The Administration plans to put limits on how much you can get paid. At the same time, they’re scheming to remove limits on what you can be taxed.
Since the economy has decimated discretionary income, the American cruise ship industry is suffering and desperately needs a stimulus. My recommendation is definitely a “win-win” situation. We can take all of the illegal immigrants, (undocumented aliens or whatever you want to call them), and load them onto the cruise ships. Since cruise ships have medical facilities, that also solves the issue of free health care to illegals. If we have a Mexican Mariachi Band on each ship, and if we anchor the ships on the Potomac, then Congress and the White House can be serenaded with the “Amnesty Rhumba.” (Sorry, Ms. Pelosi, that I came up with the idea first,).
Remember the flap about taxing farmers and ranchers who have cows, because cows emit too much flatulence, and flatulence causes global warming? This year, if you noticed, they had the earliest snow falls ever recorded in the states where we raise the most cows. And, that’s no bull.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM YOUR TEAM IN WASHINGTON!
That’s MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted.
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