I’ve always tried to write my blogs from the perspective of the average Joe Schmelingfarther living out in smoke covered California. How do we “lesser beings,” we “non-elitists” of the world, perceive things in the bigger realm of the universe? Admittedly, I lack the insider’s knowledge. But, as often is the case, sometimes the “dummies” in the streets of America have a better understanding and view of the world than those who are immersed in its daily and intricate details.
That all having been said, today comes the news that Iran has been firing off “test” missiles. The implications being proffered by the all-seeing, all-knowing media are that Iran is getting ready to lob one or two missiles off to Israel. I think they’ve totally missed the mark on this one.
What’s his face, “Awwwkk! Man Jenny Wad,” believes that the Jews need to be extinguished. Wad, (pardon me if I shorten his name,) has been threatening us and Israel ever since he climbed out of the commode bowl. And, we know that he’s been busy building a nuclear reactor and working on making nukes while thumbing his nose at Bush and the rest of the world. Evidently, the memory of an American missile going through a living room window in Libya has yet to register with him.
Anyway, Wad has made it clear that he’s not going to cooperate. In the meantime, Israel’s excursion into Syria a few months ago to level a growing nuisance there, and Israel’s position that they are not going to allow Iran to complete their nuclear plans, have Wad worried about losing face if Israel flies a mission to destroy the building Iranian threat. Israel’s position was punctuated in recent days by the conduct of “training Missions” evidently designed to sharpen pilot skills in the event that a flight into Iran becomes necessary.
So, Wad had no choice other than to fire off a few “test” missiles to let Israel know that there will be a payback if they try anything. However, any one with any understanding of the skill and military capabilities of Israel knows that Iranians would probably be wiping brown stuff out of their pants if they entered into any sort of conflict with Israel.
Enter the good old U.S.A. We, in our infinite wisdom, believe that we can successfully intervene and settle things down. I may be wrong, but it occurs to me that those dingbats in the Middle East have been snarling, spitting and snorfing at each other since the beginning of time. In fact, they’ve occasionally escalated their bad feelings into rock tossing, spear chucking, catapult throwing, arrow shooting, gun firing, and missile launching over the centuries. And, over those centuries, many emperors, dictators, kings, and other would-be potentates have tried to meddle in all of that ruckus to create peace. Again, to my knowledge, no one has ever succeeded. I think, the truth be known, even God has high-tailed it out of there.
There we are, starting to mire down in Afghanistan and being ensnarled deeply in Iraq, ready to prove to the world that we can do it, and there’s the Wad threatening to bring us to our knees if we try. Well, he just might be right. Most assuredly, if we end up sticking our proboscis into Iran, Syria is very likely to take offense. In fact, such a venture on our part could well be the match that lights the fuse on the Middle East powder keg.
So, what to do? I think we should jack up the price of gas. Sarcasm aside, what do we do?
From a purely pragmatic approach, we would be much better able to deal with this if we were not already on the ground in Afghanistan and Iraq. This would leave us many military options and the troop strengths necessary to carry them out. That is not the case, as we all know. Further, if we try to get out now, there WILL be an unholy massacre in the Middle East.
First things first, we have to get the attention of the parties involved. History will show that you can’t get any one’s attention in the Middle East unless you are dealing from a position of strength. The political wrangling and snorfing in Washington, coupled with the inadequacies of the war leadership on Pennsylvania Avenue, must surely have convinced the Wad and his cronies that we are not all that strong willed. And, neither McCain nor Obama impresses me as being capable of dealing with Bush’s mess, either.
There’s only one answer. We need to drop one big nuke, I mean big, right smack in the middle of Iran. That would surely get the Wad’s attention and I think some of the other players over there might be willing to listen, too. Besides, who would be left alive over there to blame us?
While the option should give one pause to think, you’ll have a few minutes to contemplate the situation while you run to Webster’s and look up the word, “snorf.”
That's MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted.
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