THE REAL STATE OF THE UNION – JUNE 2010

Imagine if you will, the President of the United States stepping to the podium and addressing the nation to convey, without spin or lies, the realistic State of the Union. Can you imagine the following?

Our economy is in a shambles. The government has stepped in to take charge of some segments of the business sector in order to prevent disastrous potential results, and we have infused well over a trillion dollars of your tax money into the system and things are not working the way they should.  But, don't get excited: we have succeeded in resolving all of our nation's problems.  

Unemployment is at 9.7%, but that figure doesn’t mean spit. Once you take out the temporary employment for census workers and you add back in those whose unemployment benefits have been exhausted or those who have given up, it’s closer to 18%. And, although we have spent or obligated over $1 trillion, things are not going to get better. In fact, 20% or more of our eligible citizens may be unemployed at any given time. But, don't get excited: we have succeeded in resolving all of our nation's problems.  

We can’t solve the illegal immigration problem because we have political agendas we must meet, as did the other party. We anticipate paying out around $500 million next year in social security benefits for some of those folks and a few billion bucks for social services, education, and jail costs, but get used to it. And, we don’t give a damn what Arizona thinks; they have no state rights because we are in charge. But, don't get excited: we have succeeded in resolving all of our nation's problems.  

Yes, we’re aware that the new Federal Health Care Plan will cost $1 trillion more than we said it would, but it’s been passed and there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, added to those costs are the rising costs of malpractice insurance and tort reform, prescription drugs, hospital stays and supplemental insurance and that’s just the way it is. Don't get excited: we have succeeded in resolving all of our nation's problems.  

As for the oil spill in the Gulf, stuff happens. BP ARCO gave us a lot of money for our campaign directly and through various PAC’s and we’re cutting them some slack as far as capping the well goes. In terms of the environmental damage, everyone knows that Bobby Jindal is going to run for President the next election, so I don’t owe Louisiana spit. If their beaches get tarred, we’ll get around to dealing with that problem soon. Real soon. But, don't get excited: we have succeeded in resolving all of our nation's problems.  

So, there’s some big flap about the financial goings on with our Cap & Trade program? It’s only a matter of days before FOX NEWS, Beck, Hannity, O’Reilly and that associated gang of terrorists are sucking sand with the rest of the world’s terrorists in Gitmo. Speaking of terrorists, Khalid Sheik Mohamed will be tried in New York City unless New York City agrees, without question, that an Islamic Temple can be built just down the street from the old World Trade Center site. New York City can take its choice. But, don't get excited: we have succeeded in resolving all of our nation's problems.  

This entire flap about corruption in the White House is detracting from my agendas. We are in charge here. We control the House, the Senate and the White House. We will soon control the Supreme Court. Sestak, Romanoff, the Czars… none of that matters any more. Like I said, we are in charge here. If you have a problem with that fact, it’s your problem and not ours. Don't get excited: we have succeeded in resolving all of our nation's problems.  

Yes, we have committed the United States to a new world government. We will soon transform our nation into a new era of change and progress. Enjoy your rights and liberties while you can and remember... all things in life are temporary. But, don't get excited: we have succeeded in resolving all of our nation's problems.  

Thank you and good night, Comrade Americans. 

 That's MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted.