MODERN THINKOLOGY: WHY OBAMA GETS AWAY WITH WHAT HE DOES

SPECIAL POST

This happened within 25 miles of Burney. I’ll let you guess where:

At my ripe old age, I only have three sins left: booze, cussing and the lotto. Let’s talk about the lotto.

I play $32 worth of tickets a week. Ever since Obama told me to stay out of Vegas, I’ve had to have something to do to occupy my time. Once a week, I go to the lottery store, buy tickets, and spend the rest of the week drinking, cussing and checking my numbers.

I was heading out of town and I needed to buy two weeks worth of lotto tickets. I was holding in my hand a $14 winning ticket from last week. The math here, which you can follow unless you are a far-left Liberal, is that I need $50 to buy lotto tickets. Got that, or do I need to repeat it? I understand, especially when it comes to national economics, that Obama uses fuzzy math, but I’m hoping that you at least finished grade school so that you can keep up with this college-level math for a little while longer.

The store was very busy and I had to wait a few minutes to get to the front of a long line. The gal ran my new purchases on the lotto machine…$64 worth. Then, she ran the winning ticket, $14.00. She came back to the register, where I had pulled out two new $20’s and a $10 bill. “That’ll be $64,” she announced.

I handed her the $50 and replied, “Less the $14 winner is $50, right?

“My register won’t let me do that. I need $64.”

“Well, you’re going to have to pay me back $14 then, so here’s $50 and that makes it easy.”

“No, I need the $64 first. Then, I can hit the refund button for $14 and give you $14 back.”

“Well, why don’t you hit the refund button first then, and give me the $14 and I’ll give you back $64?”

“The register won’t allow me to refund anything unless I run the charge first.”

“Well, what would happen if I just came in with the $14 winning ticket and just wanted $14?”

“Then, I’d hit the refund button and give you $14.”

“So, why don’t you do that to start off with now?”

“Because I ran the $64 on the lotto machine first, so I have to run that first on the register.”

“Well, what if I only have $50 on me?”

“Then, I’ll have to cancel everything out and you can come back later when you have the $64.”

So, I turned around to leave and noticed that every one who had been standing in line behind me… had left. Evidently, conservatives outnumber liberals in this part of California.