GAZING INTO MY CRYSTAL BALL

Every year at this time, I pause to reflect on last year's resolutions and try to outdo myself in predicting what will happen next year. Here are last year's predictions: 

1.  Obama and Clinton will both switch political parties.   
2.  Trump will make a Tweet.
3.  Nobody from Hollywood will move to Canada.
4.  Jill Stein will file a lawsuit against Melania Trump.  
5.  Kim Jong-un will get his legs stretched.
6.  Donald Duck will divorce Daisy and marry Mickey Mouse.    
7.  Someone will get murdered in Chicago.
8.  Megyn Kelly will get booted from FOX NEWS and replaced by Roseanne Barr.
9.  California will go to pot.    
10.  Barack Obama will admit his Hawaiian birth certificate is a fake.  

Well, I did better in 2017 than in 2016.   Here I go for 2018: 

1. A whole slew of Democrats will announce they intend to run for president in 2020, including: Michelle Obama, Roseanne Barr, Michael Moore, Pocahontas, Al Franken, Joe Biden and Kathy Griffin.  
2. Trump will make another tweet.  
3. The Democrats will get their butts kicked in the 2018 Congressional races and Hillary Clinton will blame the Ukranians for it.  
4. Melania will divorce Donald and marry Prince Harry.  
5. Kim Jong-un will cease to exist.  
6. Clint Eastwood and Arnold Schwarzenegger will announce they're gay.  
7. Someone will get murdered in Chicago.  
8. Megyn Kelly will get booted by NBC and hired by CNN.  
9. Hillary Clinton will get charged with high crimes and misdemeanors and pardoned by former president Barack Obama.  
10. Loretta Lynch will admit that he meeting with Bill Clinton on her plane at the Phoenix Airport was really supposed to be a secret tryst.  

I can't wait to see how I do.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

That's MY AMERICAN PREDICTION, respectfully submitted.