Once upon a time in a land close, close nearby, (hereinafter referred to as “Humpty Dumpty Land”), there lived a handsome Irish King by the name of Barack, who lived in a big white castle surrounded by millions and millions of peasants. His Lady in Waiting, Princess Nancy, and his charming Prince Harry were ever at his beck and call, always ready and willing to make the King appear to the peasants to be a really good King and to defend his whims and nonsense to the bitter end.
Princess Nancy had her little House on the Hill that was hers to rule, and she strutted through the massive halls of her house with arrogant authority, as if to dare even the mightiest of detractors to open their flippin’ mouths. Her fraternal brother, Prince Harry, also had a House on the hill and he, too, strutted through his own massive halls with arrogant authority, etc, etc, etc.
One day, a famine plagued the land, and King Barack was fearful that the famine would ruin his tax revenues. If that were to happen, he would have no money to spend and, after all, everyone knows that he who has all of the kingdom’s money rules the roost. So, he called together his Lady in Waiting and Prince Charming and told them they would have to spend some of their money to get rid of the famine.
Now, they, being not as dumb as they looked, realized that in order to spend more money they had to get more money, and that would mean finding a way to raise taxes and to make the peasants happy at the same time. They thought, and they thought, and they thought with such worry; how could they please their King?
“I know!” exclaimed Harry, “We’ll borrow the money from the kingdom on the other side of the pond, and we won’t have to raise taxes at all until long after we and the King are dead and long gone! We’ll spend all the money the King wants to spend and we’ll all be happy as clams again!”
“What a fabulous idea,” the Lady in Waiting agreed, and they promptly wrote edicts and directives and told their house choirs to sing and sing along.
The peasants heard of the dastardly plan, and were very worried about all of the money their children and grandchildren would have to pay to the King in taxes to retire the debt owed to the faraway land. And the King, smooth talker as he was, gathered the peasants and made them feel much better. “Do as I say,” he smiled, “or the sky will fall on your worthless butts tomorrow.”
The peasants were furious, but what could they do? After all, he was the King, she was the Lady in Waiting, and the Prince was charming. So, they all zipped their lips. And the King borrowed the money and what money he could not borrow he printed anyway, and King Barack, Princess Nancy and Prince Harry spent money, and money and money.
But, alas, the famine did not go away. And all of the Kings horses and all of the King’s stooges could never put Humpty Dumpty Land together again.
And, that's MY AMERICAN OPINION, peasantly submitted.
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