SHORT SHOTS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Given the continuing saga of the Natalee Holloway disappearance case in Aruba, I think the State Department should ban U.S. travel there until the matter is solved or resolved. I say it’s a disappearance as opposed to a murder because, although VanderSleeze has reportedly admitted twice to different people that he dumped her off a boat in the ocean, Aruba is well-known for its tolerance of kidnapping of young girls into the prostitution slave trade and, indeed, Holloway might still be alive. Whatever the case may be, Aruba’s obvious disregard for the safety of American citizens needs to be considered before we allow travel there.

* * * * *

Now that CitiBank is rolling in our dough, I’ve decided to quit paying my credit card bills. Why? It’s the only way I, an average American, can recoup some of the thousands of dollars our illustrious Congress is obligating our great grand children…each… to pay over these bailouts.

* * * * *

Whatever happened to the U.S. “pressure” to get General Electric out of Iran? Maybe they’re pulling a power play, (no apologies for the intended pun).

* * * * *

How to make your Congressman squirm: Walk right up to him, shake his hand, look into his eyes and say, “I want to personally thank you for being so proactive in resolving the illegal immigration issue.”

* * * * *

The two major reasons that U.S. automakers are in trouble are: (1) Neither FannieMae or FreddieMac are in the car loan business, and (2) the cost of union labor and benefits far exceeds what the competition is paying. My position is, if the union employees are not willing to take a big cut to put their employers in a better position in the market place, (I’d rather be making $20 an hour than nothing….), then they deserve to be out of a job. The fact is, if you buy American cars, you’ve already contributed more than your fair share by way of paying more than you should; now, Pelosi and Reid want you to pay again to keep them in business. I say to them… “Up yours,” (exhaust pipe, I mean,).

* * * * *

We no longer need to be looking for alternative energy sources; the price of oil is in the toilet. You don’t suppose people have quit driving because they’re out of a job, do you? Good God, man, the price of gas is down to $1.60 a gallon in some places, and I’ve even heard rumors that they’ll soon be giving out S&H Green Stamps at the pumps.

* * * * *

Yes, I agree. As long as we’re bailing out this and that, why not bail out the occupants of Gitmo, too? Certainly, as terrorists they belong to a disadvantaged minority….. Maybe India would like to rent Gitmo from us, to store THEIR terrorists. Or, maybe, they'll hang them in a public square and throw their bodies into a pigsty. Maybe WE could learn something from that act?

* * * * *

The story is that the collapse of the home lending market has been riddled with felony-type fraud on a massive scale, which Congress is trying to keep a lid on because, if they allow an investigation and charges to be filed, some of their own members are going to go down. There is a major, major big-time cover-up in progress.

* * * * *

The Janet Jackson case has made its way to the Supreme Court. If she wins the appeal hearing, you can expect more displays of nudity on national prime-time television and thousands of bike riders in Portland and Seattle will be tooting their little “hornies” in a “display” of support.

* * * * *

More terrorist threats? Don’t they understand that all they have to do is wait a few more months and this country will collapse anyway? The dearth of responsible moral and fiscal leadership in Washington is leading us there; in fact, we may already be over the precipice and well on our way to oblivion. I like the way they huff and puff and say that Europe is suffering, too, as if that justifies their total mishandling of our nation. Notice how they glibly ignore the fact that WE started this world-wide economic disaster through THEIR incompetence and malfeasance? Or, does that matter anymore?

* * * * *

They have referred to us as the “Godless Society,” which is probably now totally true. Instead of sending corrupt government leaders off to jail, instead of holding our country to standards of ethics and moral decency, we are comfortable in shrugging our shoulders and pretending that there is nothing we can do about it.

* * * * *

If Al Queda and Companies keep on with their destructive bombings in India, we could soon run out of computer support technicians and other call-center operatives. Given the circumstances, that remark may seem insensitive but, just what do you think the terrorists are going to do after we release all of their friends from Gitmo? When will this country wake up and realize that “a tooth for a tooth” is a wise saying? If we had just butchered every one of those Gitmo prisoners instead of taking them alive to Gitmo, I don’t think we’d be watching what is going on in India today. Now, we seem to be bound and determined to set them free to do it to us again….. Bush didn’t do a whole lot to be thankful for, but he has kept terrorism out of this country since 9/11. Now, our Judges and politicians want to reopen the avenues that the terrorists traveled on their way to the World Trade Center.

* * * * *

This Christmas, it would be a good idea for all Americans to go and worship in a church of their choice, while we still have the privilege. After all, a government official might be influenced in his decisions by participating in religious practices and, therefore, all religious practices should be banned. Already, ABC has banned the wearing of US Flag lapel pins on its newscasts on the basis that they don't want people to think they are supporting any "causes."

* * * * *

These are indeed troubling times, aren’t they? But, as long as Americans don’t seem to care, it is surely going to get worse. Put THAT on your holiday dessert plate and see how it looks. I already know how it tastes.

* * * * *

Speaking of taste, how does THIS taste? Remember the good old days when mom would go to the market and buy a beautiful rolled roast tied with butcher's string and, if you were fortunate, you'd get first crack at sucking and licking on the string after the roast was done? These days, the price of beef is so high that you need a bank loan to buy a roast. Problem is, the banks aren't lending. Maybe our forefathers, in their infinite wisdom, knew that this day was coming and decided to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with a turkey, instead. Which, of course, is why I invited my Congressman to Thanksgiving Dinner this year. If that play on words sailed over your head, you need to drink less wine.

That’s MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted.