IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN! More MAO Short Shots...

Obama has committed a crime. While he was off having a secret meeting with Hillary in Feinstein’s parlor, he sent the media off in his plane to Chicago. Since they are paid to be with Obama, and since they weren’t told of their unexpected “junket” or given the option of staying in D.C., Obama is guilty of kidnapping across state lines, a Federal crime. Someone should file charges.

What do you suppose Bill and Michelle were up to while their spouses were parleying around in the parlor?

Why are stocks going down? Simple: everyone’s selling off their stocks so they can afford gas. Speaking of gas prices going up, look for lawns to be growing longer. Who can afford to mow ‘em?

They’re now stealing used grease from restaurants and converting it to bio-diesel? Have you ever smelled that stuff after it sits for a few weeks in the hot sun? Well, the thieves will be easy to catch; all the cops have to do is drive around with their windows down and, when they smell bad exhaust fumes they’ll have the culprits.

Mexico is sitting on a pile of oil that they can’t get out of the ground because all of their workers are here…illegally.

Obama wants to raise taxes. Might as well; we taxpayers are all going to be filing for bankruptcy anyway, given the Bush economic legacy.

McCain says we need to restore trust and confidence in government. The only way that can be accomplished is if we elect a whole new slate in Congress and toss all of the incumbents out. I’m willing… Whatever McCain does, I hope he never says anything about Obama’s wife, because Obama will be madder than a wet banty rooster. Got that?

With all of the tornadoes running around the country, it is clearly evident that not all of the wind production is in Washington.

Ed McMahon is in desperate need of winning the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes…..

I wonder what’s in that “missing” pyramid they just found. It must be something magnanimous, since it’s been headline news for three days now. I have yet to figure out how those news announcers can act so surprised for three days in a row. Speaking of dragging news out over and over again, what’s going on in the Natalie Holloway case?

I hate to be the harbinger of bad news, but I think we’ll be seeing $6.00 per gallon gas prices before Labor Day and unemployment topping 10% before the end of the year. Gas is already $4.69 a gallon at independent stations in northern California. People can’t afford to go out and eat or to spend any discretionary income at all, what with the prices of food soaring. That means the economy is going to slow down and there will be many more layoffs to come. In Canada, GM is closing plants and the Canadian dollar is sinking lower in value in reaction to the sagging U.S. economy, as is the Mexican peso. This paragraph is not a laughing matter.

The number of UFO sightings is increasing. Maybe one of them will land long enough to bring us a viable Presidential candidate….

While mainland airlines are sucking it in, Hawaiian Airlines has just inked an agreement to buy a dozen new Airbus planes. Maybe they’ve found a way to convert pineapples into jet fuel…

Hugo Chavez has been test firing missiles in Venezuela. Since they’re not at war with anyone down there, what do you suppose he has in mind?

In California, they’ve decided that they can’t prevent gun sales but, the legislature is trying to make it next to impossible to buy ammunition. First thing you know, they’ll make it illegal to own a kitchen knife.

There’s nothing like a randy bunch of nudists floating around in a hot air balloon to advertise new cars. Makes you really want to run down to the car lot, doesn’t it?

Have a great week. This was MY AMERICAN OPINION, respectfully submitted.